wordsilongtohear
foreverandeverbabe
haziqah idris.ar
when life pushes you around&you get hit hard,
you just gotta rise, look ahead&move on.
Guilty as charged
Monday, April 13, 2009, 5:42 AM
Imagine waking up having the feeling of wanting to see your boyfriend (that is normal) and when you want to read the text message he send you, your phone starts getting cranky and ignores you. It’s like your phone is trying to tell you something. Something like I should get a new phone? Is that what you really want, LG? You got your step-momma here really really pissed with you. That is what I have to face once I wake up. Pissed, but still missing that boyfriend badly..
That, one thing. Yours truly decide to head down to Hougang gym to unwind and shed those fats. I was humming to the music played in the gym in my head while cardio-ing. The types of songs are unlike in school gym. School gym plays the recent and hippies song, the type of song that makes you shake your booty while working out but there they play the kind of songs when I was 9 years old? Spice girls, Boyzone, Backstreet Boys and more, the 1990s kind of song. So while humming to spice girls’ mama I love you song, I had a sudden flashback of me and my good friend way back in primary school singing to Hi-5, S club 7 song while the teacher was teaching. We would cover ourselves with our thick file and sing and the two guys in front of us would always tease us. And in that thick file, it would consist of lyrics and sometimes I would change the song weekly and memorize that. Haha, I can memorize lyrics but when it comes to History, I totally can’t. Tskk. While cardio-ing, I still have time to think of food! I would have chicken rice for recess time and that would only cost $1.00. And secondary school, I would eat rice with the girls and we would compare the pricing ‘cause apparently that makcik would charge differently. Sometimes, a plate of rice with hotdog + sayur lodeh gravy/veggie + nugget would cost up to $2.70, while some pay only $2.10? I miss primary and secondary school food. They’re so much cheaper and much filling than right now. Right now, a plate of chicken rice would cost up to $2.50.
Okay, enough about food. Now back to reality, I put on a freaking 2kg!! Right now I’m 52 kg. I used to be 50kg before holiday + attachment. Blame it on myself for having much cravings and satisfying the cravings and not exercising. I’ve been eating quite a lot during KKH attachment btw. One word, gatal. I’m not obsessed with my weight and go crazy when I gain a couple of pounds and starve myself. Okay, I lied. I am. I am obsessed with my weight but I don’t starve myself ‘cause I know I cant go on without food. Food -> Carbohydrate -> glucose -> energy/fats. I think I should do what Vanessa suggest, idolization. Make a collage of really thin girls and look at them every single day and torture myself by not eating and get guilty if I don’t eat. Okay, not. I won’t do that. I just read online, secrets of the effortless thin; no diet, exercise regularly, frequent small meals, consume fibre such as veggie and fruits, etc etc. Sorry boyfriend, but I still want to maintain my perfect 50kg.
But righttttttttttt, I’m contradicting myself. People say I look unattractive and sick if I were to be any skinnier. My cheek bones will show and it doesn’t really look pleasant. I was complaining to boyfriend that I think I should put a lil bit more weight to look healthier, but just to my face. My a** has enough fats to cushion me from bad fall, my tummy’s aint shy no more and is already showing its embarrassing fat. I feel like liposuctioning my tummy and putting the fats to my boobs already. Okay, I should be thankful that at least I’ve got ass. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Self praising myself eyyy.
Conclusion: I think I shouldn’t try too hard to lose weight. Cause the more I try, the lesser the outcome would be. I think I should be like last time, don’t get too bothered, do what I do best, be happy and if I have time, grab a friend to the gym. Enjoy food and stop eating only when I’m full and give the leftovers to boyfriend. HEHE! He seriously needs to put on weight. Ever since he enters ns, his face sunken alottttt and I think he lost 5kg or more. NS! Look what you’ve done to my darling boyfriend! Baby, put on a little bit more weight k? You look yummy if you put on a few pounds. But whatever it is, I love you no matter what.
Okay, right now I’ve gotta start looking for the new and hottest deals in singtel. I cant stand my phone any longer. And I’ll start talking to my dad into getting a new phone and who knows a new plan? But before that, I’ve gotta assure him that I would do my part and pay my monthly bills and not exceed it. Please daddy, pleeeeeease.