wordsilongtohear
foreverandeverbabe
haziqah idris.ar
when life pushes you around&you get hit hard,
you just gotta rise, look ahead&move on.
Sunday, June 15, 2008, 10:24 AM
But when I need youYou're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here
with things on my mind, i told myself before i went to sleep that i should learn to be stronger. not let people affect me, my life and the way i am. not gonna elaborate on that. in the past, i would sometymes run away from reality and get myself occupied with stuff¬ learn from it. i should give myself some time to reflect on things.
sigh*
anyways, happy belated papa's day to all dad. i hadta work, since i need some kachings to pay off some stuff. =/ & whut was even worst that, i had to see complete families dining in. momma, dad, son/daughter. its quite sad, but happy to see them having loads of laughter&happiness among each other. sadly, this year i didnt get to spend father's day with papa. he's away, far far away in norway. he's alone there(besides being with his collegues for some course) hearing his voice yesterday somehow hurt me. he's sick only after a week stay. i know he can take care of himself, but it just hurts me. he's so far away&i missed him terribly for the past few days. ahhhh, shit. i hate crying. i dont wanna go for attachment later in just two hour with my eyes red&swollen. timecheck: 1032. but i miss him. momma's not there to apply coconut oil on his head, give him medications&cook for hym. stuff there is quite expensive. coke alone cost 5 bucks&bread, 7 bucks. i hope whutever momma&me bought for him is 'nuff to fill his tummy. & his reply yesterday...... made me cry once again. just the previous night, he replied "ok. take a rest" & yesterday, "thanks with love" when i message hym a father's day message. why must he show only thru text messages¬ when he's wimme? he does joke around with us, scold us, sacrifice alot for us, got us things that we wanted, but that's not exactly whut i want. i want him to show us love.............
i dont mind ditching the car&taking the bus/mrt with my familia. its been a long tyme since momma, me&lil bro took the bus together. somehow, i lyke the feeling. weird. i dont mind travelling far with my family for good food or whutever not. i saw this group of fam in the bus on the way to work yesterday&alighting at arab street. &hearing bebe's story about how close his family are, just envy me. double sigh* & i just feel that im taking things and poeple for granted. thats why, things changed.
&leona lewis' take a bow is stuck on my head.
bruised and battered by your words,
dazed and shattered, now it hurts.
havent i always loved you?